brunch by the lake

In twenty-seven years living in Dallas, I never once made a group brunch and sat out by the lake to enjoy it. Not to say that couldn't be done in Dallas, but living outside of a city for the first time has made me appreciate nature, something I've never really done.

About 9 of us yesterday morning made eggs, banana pancakes, cherry/plum soup with kiwi garnish, pistachio/curant/macadamia nut cookies, fresh-cut strawberries and french-press coffee. And the day along the shore was clear blue, sunny with a strong cool breeze. Holy shit, what a fantastic morning!

hate my birthday

Friday looms like a car insurance payment. My birthday always brings me down. It's not so much about getting older -- I, in fact, am embracing the onset of gray hair -- as it is about having an intermittent flow of people that fall into that heinous realm between stranger and friend come up and congratulate me for popping out of my mother 29 years ago.

Hey, buddy, congratulate her.

I sound like an ingrate, I know. But while I don't suffer from stage fright or fear of speaking in public, my skin crawls at the thought of all the small talk I'm going to have to make with people I barely know (and that's so much scarier to me than talking with a stranger).

On the plus side, I'll get free cake and maybe some nookie(?)

Gay or Not Gay

This is stolen schtick from this man, but over the weekend in NYC, I came up with a couple of more questions for the Gay/Not Gay debate.

Just to preface, I don't mean Gay as in "homosexual" -- it's more of a question of whether or not something a guy does is "gay" in the general sense. For example, if a man buys another male friend flowers, that's gay... even if it's just for his buddy's birthday and not as an expression of beyond-platonic love.

So, in that vein, these are the Gay/Not Gay question I ask:

1. If you go to Macy's with your male friend (and your wives are not around)... Gay?
2. While playing a two-person fighting game on PS2, you choose a female character... is that gay?
3. Is it just a little bit gay to ride the Toys 'R' Us ferris wheel in Times Square with your friend? Even if you talk about beer and the Dallas Cowboys in the process?

The answers we came up with were: 1. No, as long as you are only going in to use the restroom; 2. Incredibly!; 3. Only if neither person admits to ever having drunk a Zima or appreciated the old, orange Tampa Bay Buccaneer uniforms.

yummy diet soda

I like the taste of diet sodas. I, in fact, do not want my diet drink to taste more like it's sugary counterpart. Diet sodas have a distinct bitter, but non-sticky, taste. I know there are a lot of people that like sweet-tasting diet drinks like Pepsi One or Diet Dr Pepper, but for me I prefer the honest goodness of old fashioned diet flavor.

To make a diet drink taste similar to the sugared version, is like trying to play a middle C on the piano, but instead settling for the black B-flat right next to it. It's a dissident noise that doesn't jibe with the clean tone you might be expecting. I say head down those ivories and pound out a solid A-minor chord, and enjoy all the chemical, calorie-free joy that fully satiates your diet-craving palate.

I'm just sayin'....

why he gotta be so dumb?

I honestly try not to hate the President. I want to like him. I want to say aloud: "I may disagree with the man, but I respect what he's done." Or at very minimum, it sure would be nice to not think: "What a righteous fucking loon!"

For example, I think abstinence is a great think to teach during Sex Ed. Abstinence, in fact, is the only 100% effective form of birth control (besides babysitting). But when you start telling people that condoms are ineffective forms of birth control, you've crossed the line.

Being religiously opposed to gay marriage makes sense to me, too. I understand that spiritual beliefs conflict with others. But this is not a religious state. This is a secular one, so quit trying to pass Unconstitutional constitutional amendments, you nitwit.

book queue

Because you care, I added a book queue to my blog. I know I'm acting a bit too 2002 for some of you hipper bloggers, but I think it's important to read. A mind, after all, is a terrible thing to waste.

I should also mention here that it was such a beautiful day today that I got rear-ended on the Coolidge Bridge crossing the Connecticut into Northampton. We were all (everyone on the bridge) so busy staring out our windows at the gorgeous Spring sun spotlighting the new green growth on the mountains and glistening off the gentle ripples of the river--BAM!

Three-car pile-up.

In actuality, only the rear vehicle sustained much damage. Wife and I pretty much came away from it with a slight scratch on our already scratchy bumper. No biggie. It was a pretty day, though.

top 5 bottom 5

I have some great photos that I'll post later from our trip to Iowa (we're still here, but just hours from getting on the road and driving back to Massachusetts). Let me just say that Iowa is a surprisingly pretty state and not bad to look at (for a couple of hours anyway), and it's much more interesting than Illinois... but far stinkier. Iowa may top Little Rock for Stinkiest Place.

If I had to rank the top 5 and bottom five states (which I don't, but I kinda do, if you know the feeling), this is how I would rank:

Top 5

1. Vermont
2. Massachusetts
3. Pennsylvania
4. West Virginia
5. New York

Bottom 5

1. Utah
2. Nevada
3. Mississippi
4. Florida
5. Delaware

When I get back on Tuesday, maybe I'll actually have some content in my post.

road trip

Wednesday, Wife and I leave for a road trip to Iowa for her brother's wedding. We've got some books to read along the way, and a route planned. It's about 22 hours total drive time, which we'll split into two days.

Again, I must confess my love of road trips -- reading out loud in the car, rotating CDs, stopping for beef jerky, hoping that the Texaco bathroom is tolerable (and secretly celebrating when it's really clean). While the return trip rarely meets the emotional height of the initial drive, I still favor driving over flying any day.

If anyone knows of a worthwhile stop on I-90 from Mass. to Chicago or on I-80 from Chicago to Omaha, please feel free to let me know. Right now the list of things to see along the way consists only of: (1) corn, and (2) concrete.