important company email alerts

Today, everyone at my company received this important email from one of our senior staff members:

To someone with a small jar of mayo in [common] fridge – I took a few scraps from the jar just now. Thought I brought my own, but it was a sour cream/lemon/caper sauce – which while tasty, didn’t coordinate with my sandwich fixin’. I’ll replace next week – I’ll try for tomorrow, but meeting ______ this evening, have faculty phone meeting at 9p so my usual prep to come in tomorrow will most likely be on the run.

reset!

CommentThis.com is having server issues. So I switched to Blogger's comment feature... It'll be more stable in the long run, but unfortunately, we've lost all old comments... [close-up: single tear rolls down Indian chief's cheek]

Also, pray for the Mavericks, but laugh heartily at this photograph of Shawn Bradley's "defense." (it should be noted that the big, white Mormon managed to get called for a foul on this play. idiot.)

another north/south observation

People in the South are MUCH better about chewing with their mouths closed. Why is this? More than half of all people I know that live or are originally from the North/Northeast eat with their mouths open. Arrgh. Like nails on a chalkboard...

your Star Wars name

So I've read that in order to find out what your name would be (should you happen to become a character in Star Wars), you should execute the following three steps:

1. First Name: take first 2 letters of your real first name and add them to the last 3 letters of your real last name (i.e. Steve Smith = Stith).
2. Last Name: take first 2 letters of your mom's last name and add them to the last 3 letters of the city in which you were born (i.e. Shipman + Chicago = Shago)
3. Final result: STITH SHAGO (per the examples I gave)

When I did this, my Star Wars name came out to JENOR FLITY. I think you can alter the rules a bit (like 3+2 instead of 2+3) in case it doesn't come out quite right... Give it a shot, spacefriends!

oh crap...

Looks like Pope Benedict and I are going to have some problems getting along:

Having a clear faith, based on the creed of the church, is often labeled today as a fundamentalism. Whereas relativism, which is letting oneself be tossed and 'swept along by every wind of teaching,' looks like the only attitude acceptable to today's standards.

yay vacation!

So I've done the wedding. I've visited a couple of friends in Dallas and Houston so far. This Thursday, I get to see Buried Child at Kitchen Dog Theater. And Friday I begin my 4-day roadtrip home.

Saturday night I stop in Chicago to visit The Jen That Likes Massachusetts and tell her that she should like it so much that she would want to come live there again. Also that night, I will lose my virginity to The Neo-Futurists. I can't wait.

changing my name

I'm definitely changingmy name. No doubt about it. And this is the man who has the name I want.

Not to say that I haven't considered just a few others...

the best casting director ever

Whoever's handling casting for this Audio Book needs a serious raise. Look who's narrating!

Amazing. Truly amazing.

beggars

Friend Carrie and I were in NYC this weekend for work. Walking down 1st avenue toward the 14th St L-stop, we saw a grizzled, elderly man in a wheelchair. The chair boasted two American flags firmly taped to the handlebars. He wore tattered olive drab and held a cardboard sign we couldn't read because it was folded over against his hip.

What really struck me, though, was the way he moved in his wheelchair. His unique style challenged my primitive idea of how a wheelchair-bound person should get around: walking. But not mere walking.

No no, my friend.

Walking backwards in a sitting position, pushing his wheelchair -- patriotic handlebars-first -- down 16th St looking for a new place to set up shop.