rock star

Me and some friends got together to start a new band.

god, I love this country! (even more)

Want a fun parlor trick? Go to Google, type "GOD, I LOVE THIS COUNTRY!" (with quotes) and press i'm feeling lucky.

You know why I'm number one? Because, God, I love this country more than anyone else on the internet.

Boo

Yah

Thanks to new reader s_i_d for discovering this exciting item.

who still has hubcaps?

I drive a Nissan Altima ('El Coche Grande'). I got the car in January 1997. (Don't laugh; it runs like a champ, and it's paid off). In February 1997, my first hubcap disappeared.

By early 1998, I was down to one hubcap. I semi-regularly had these caps replaced at the Nissan shop, for about $30 a pop. But they always came off again within the year. My only comfort was that everybody else with an Altima had the same problems (except those smart enough to get real wheels.)

Now, Wal Mart sells 4-packs of plastic hubcaps for about $14.95, and I buy them and replace them, buy them and replace them. It seems silly to wish El Coche would keep the same wheel covers forever in the same way it's silly to wish I could keep the same paper towels forever. They're just disposable, and nothing can be done about it.

So no matter what, my Altima will always look ghetto, and I now fully accept that. I embrace it even. Despite (or maybe because of) its myriad flaws and imperfections, I'm proud of my car, and in turn, I hope El Coche Grande is proud of me.

cat sex change

Wife took orange cat to the cat hospital Wednesday morning, because his weiner got blocked, and he couldn't pee. It's quite fortunate Wife caught this as OC would have died within about 24 hours.

The vet performed a standard operation to unclog his tinkler and prescribed a new diet for the chunky, orange monster. She also suggested--and I really can't think of any suggestion in my history that I have been LESS prepared to hear--that we give the kitty a sex change operation.

I knew he was a queer.

But apparently this operation would help prevent him from having future cock blockages since lady cats have wider urinary tracts and don't get clogged up in that way.